worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
