turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
