just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
