Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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