After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
