Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
