it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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