Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
When are your genitals available?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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