She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
