Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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