Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i wish my penis had a tongue
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
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