In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize