I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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