And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I will pee on everything he values.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize