Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
