Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
