Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
