spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
