Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
