If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
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