butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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