watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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