just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
