maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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