@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
