Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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