actually, I'm a sock model
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
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