When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
You need a sexual gate keeper
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
