So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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