Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
