we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
PANTIES FOUND
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize