It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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