Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
