I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize