This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize