Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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