I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
