i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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