I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
