I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I just saw a hot homeless man
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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