What a fucking waste of an outfit
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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