I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Randomize
