Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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