yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Randomize
