Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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