I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize