we have officially lost it.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
