I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
