I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
You've changed since you got that strap on
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
