all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
