I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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