Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
