Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
