If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
