when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
