You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
