we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
