The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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