When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
