4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize