I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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