i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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