I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
