reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
