no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
