i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
