Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
